I had dinner with Jimmy in my dark closet tonight. Good thing it was dark, so he couldn't see my tears. We thought he was ok with all of this... We were about to have dinner, so we did the usual - checked his blood glucose level - turns out he was high (in the 400's - and his target it 150).
All of a sudden, he bolted from the dinner table and we couldn't find him. We looked in the usual places to no avail. Getting worried that something was terribly wrong... Just about to call neighbors to see if he looked for retreat there, when he gave himself up - he was in the back of my closet. He's not ok. He's scared. He doesn't want shots. He doesn't want diabetes. My heart is broken.
We thought he was ok... He was even letting his big sister, Jenna, take his blood glucose level, and letting us give him his shot in his leg (though he prefers the arms.) We really thought that he was a resiliant kid and that he was ok. It was all I could do not to openly sob in the closet with him. Jim and I took turns "making it all ok" in the dark with him. We shared dinner and stories, and vowed to have dinner every Monday night with him in the dark closet if he wants - whatever it takes.
What do I do? We have an appt. at the "Molly Center" on the 19th. The Molly center is where we go for all the Juvenile Diabetes appointments at HUMC. Of course we'll ask them, and join a support group, etc, but how do I help my baby in the meantime???
He's such a good boy - he's adjusted to asking before he eats anything - even ran home from next door to ask if he could have a "sugar free" ice pop!!! He's been so good with this!!! I thought it was just Jim and me with the issues... I was wrong.
He's sound asleep now in my bed. He looks so sweet with his blue baby blanket, "bluey" intertwined in his grip. Please pray for a cure for Juvenile Diabetes.
Peace,
June
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